Thursday, July 13, 2006

José What?

Apparently steroids have hallucinogenic properties:
Jose Canseco, baseball's most famous whistleblower, took his turn before Mitchell investigation attorneys on Tuesday, giving up more names and making an offer the inquisitors probably didn't expect: He wants to go to work for them.

"Until someone like Jose is part of the investigation as an investigator, they aren't going to get much cooperation," Canseco's attorney, Rob Saunooke, said yesterday. "Jose could meet face to face with some of the individuals, use his own friendship with them and knowledge of them and talk with them comfortably. If Jose sits down face to face with you and reminds you of all the good times, then he says, 'It's time for us to come clean with these things.'"

Uh-huh. And later on, human growth hormone might fly out of my butt.

Really, does Canseco actually think that any steroid user is going to be swayed by the "Come to Jesus, my dear close friend" approach? More to the point, why on Earth would he ever expect a steroid user to even talk to him when he's Steroid Whistleblower #1?

Maybe that home run ball that bounced off his noggin did more lasting damage than anyone realized...

5 comments:

Zap Rowsdower said...

Conseco is a clod. Ever since the days of the "Bash Brothers", it's always been about stroking his gigantic ego.

He coulda had a hall of fame career, but, you know...

Elmo said...

One of my best friends has a stack of Canseco rookie cards he traded a Jordan rookie card for. Ooops!

Eli said...

Ah, but would he have put up the hall of fame numbers without any help? There's no way to know for sure, really.

Eli said...

Heh. There's a guy at work who has an uncanny knack for buying up rookie cards of guys who turn out to be total busts. Ki-Jana Carter, Brian Bosworth, Tony Mandarich, Andre Ware, Ryan Leaf, etc.

I keep begging him to buy up lots of Ravens rookie cards...

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