Friday, April 28, 2006

Yo Soy El Smoothador.

Oh, this'll really win over the Hispanic vote...

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The national anthem should be sung in English -- not Spanish -- President Bush declared Friday, amid growing restlessness over the millions of immigrants here illegally.

"One of the things that's very important is, when we debate this issue, that we not lose our national soul," the president exclaimed. "One of the great things about America is that we've been able to take people from all walks of life bound as one nation under God. And that's the challenge ahead of us."

A Spanish language version of the national anthem was released Friday by a British music producer, Adam Kidron, who said he wanted to honor America's immigrants.

When the president was asked at a Rose Garden question-and-answer session whether the anthem should be sung in Spanish, he replied: "I think the national anthem ought to be sung in English, and I think people who want to be a citizen of this country ought to learn English and they ought to learn to sing the national anthem in English."

Sounds like Dubya's been getting his talking points from Lou "I Don't Believe In St. Patrick's Day Parades" Dobbs (would this make him "Dobbsya"?). It's basically a great big fuck-you to any immigrants who want to embrace America on their own cultural terms.

So, George, if you're worried about our "national soul," how about banning and denouncing torture? How about not pissing all over the Constitution in the pursuit of naked power? How about not lying us into any more disastrous unprovoked wars? How about, oh I don't know, for once in your worthless wretched life doing something that makes me proud of my country instead of ashamed? I realize that anything more complicated than quitting is probably beyond your meager abilities, and that's fine. Just do what you can - you'll be amazed at how grateful everyone will be.

Oh, and you might want to consider learning English, too...

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