Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Dirty Penguin Whores!

Shaking their dirty penguin asses for, um, rocks and stuff.

By way of fester at Comments From Left Field:
PRACTITIONERS of the oldest profession have been found at work on the icy shores of Antarctica plying their trade in a dress of black and white feathers - they are penguin prostitutes.


Stones are so valuable that they will steal them from each other, though they risk being attacked by the owners of the hard currency. In the journal Auk, Drs Hunter and Davis describe how females have developed another strategy: they lure nearby male penguins for sex in exchange for the rocks. "Females have figured out that one way to steal the stones without being attacked is to swap copulations for them," said Dr Hunter.

They slip away from their partner and wander over to the nest of an unpaired male. Standard courtship follows, with a dip of the head and a coy look from the corner of her eye. If he shows interest, she will lie prone which, in the language of penguin love, is an invitation to mate or carry out what the scientists call "extra-pair copulation".

Once mating is over, the female picks up her payment, a stone, and carries it to her nesting platform. Sometimes their customers are so satisfied that the females can return for second helpings of stones, without having to offer more sex. Other females found that a little courtship was enough to persuade a male to allow them to play with a rock, then cart it away. One especially teasing female managed to collect 62 stones this way, said Dr Hunter. "The males were probably duped into thinking that she was a possible partner."
Coming soon, the can't-miss documentary film Streetwalk Of The Penguins will document all the sordid goings-on in the northern-light district.

But why does this story sound so familiar? Hmm...


Neil Shakespeare said...

I think that would be the "Southern Lights" district. Nice place. Been there. Good Christian sex.

oldwhitelady said...

Stay away from the penguins! The news had some small item about a baby something being stolen from a zoo. Was it a baby penguin, I'm wondering? I can't remember.