Here We Go Again...

Shorter Jason Leopold:

I was totally right, but you'll never know it.

Hat tip to Wigwam in FDL comments.

Google Is A Strange Mistress.

On the first page of search results for... wonderbread race coat.

How do these things happen?

Well, Blow Me... Down.

Yahrr, this be a right encouragin' development, me hearties:

Across the United States, from New York City, to Portland, Oregon, the pirate movement has spawned pirate bars, social circles, bands, festivals, magazines and apparel.

Devotees are attracted by pirate fashions, the spirit of rowdiness and the opportunity to engage in anti-establishment behavior. It's unclear where it began, but pirates are clearly in vogue.

(...)

"Pirates have always been cool," said Raja Azar, 26.... "You can project more with pirates, more so than with robots or ninjas," he said, wearing a striped tank top, black studded pants and boots with bare feet as he stood aboard a boat before the gig.

Raja Azar has thrown down the gauntlet.

Pirate cap tip to Ol' Froth.

Kissed With A Seal

Well, I'm still trying to recover my political mojo, which seems to have gotten lost somewhere on the way to California. In the meantime, enjoy some frolicsome sea creatures!


Taking a quick dip.


Seals are somewhat... less than graceful at the transition from sea to land.


Seal karaoke. Unfortunately, they only sing along to songs by Seal...


I'm too sexy for my rock...

Another Badge Of Honor

Number Two search result for death by donuts!

Monday Media Blogging

A PSA for those of you with daughters approaching A Certain Age...


"Wow! 'God's Curse'! That sounds exciting!"

Vacation Birds-And-Making-Fun-Of-Yakov-Smirnoff Blogging

Okay, back to the vacation photos. Today's theme is... Birdies!


This was terribly overexposed, and when I tried to pull the brightness back down I thought it actually looked kinda cool.


If you want to see what a pelican in flight really looks like...


Just chillin'. No big whoop.


Cranky seagull.


In Soviet Russia, birdie watches you!

Did anyone ever have an easier gig than Yakov Smirnoff? I mean, how hard could that schtick be? I wonder if he was like the Russian Jerry Seinfeld before he defected? "And what is with all these tractor quotas? Don't we have enough tractors already?"

Or maybe he was the Russian Gallagher, and he defected because beets and potatoes spatter so poorly...

Sunday Softball Blogging

Well, the hot streak finally came to an end. Not a terrible day at the plate, though: 5-for-9 with a double, 2 runs, and an RBI. Didn't get a whole lot of action in left field, unless you count watching home runs sail over my head...


2006 Stats: 18 games, .637 BA (72-113), 1.044 SLG, 14 2B, 4 3B, 8 HR, 44 runs, 42 RBI.

Career Stats: 45 games, .597 BA (184-308), .818 SLG, 31 2B, 5 3B, 9 HR, 105 runs, 82 RBI.


Not entirely sure what this move is supposed to be...


Sliding might have been a good idea here. Not that I'm one to talk.

Vacation Botanical Blogging

In case anyone's wondering why I haven't posted many vacation photos, my preferred upload tool (Hello/BloggerBot) is hosed, and I really don't like Blogger's Upload Image tool, because it makes resized images look like total crap. But since the last time BloggerBot broke, it stayed broken for weeks, I guess I have to live with it.

I recommend clicking on the pictures for full-size versions that don't look like total crap.

Today's installment is from some botanical gardens at Balboa Park in San Diego:


Consider the lily.


Or, if you're not quite up to that, consider the lily pads.


I'm pretty sure this is what Alien Space Potatoes look like.


Oh, I'm being followed by a fern shadow...
Fern shadow, fern shadow...

More Fun With Google

This blog is on the second page of search results for film plot was earth being taken over by ball bearings.

Does anyone remember this movie? I sure don't.

What I Wanna Know Is...

...Why was someone searching for hate blogspot her evil eli in the first place???

Friday Quote & Dog Blogging

This week's quote is from Something Wicked This Way Comes, with Jason Robards, Jonathan Pryce, and Diane Ladd:

"You have lived here a long time without the scent of ladies' skin."


And, of course, there'll be other people's dogs...


On my way back from taking pictures on the beach, I was menaced by a pair of vicious, terrifying attack dogs. I was lucky to escape with my life.

These Are Some Good Shoes!

I'm not a huge "Starbury" fan, but this is commendable:

That smile Stephon Marbury said earlier this summer couldn't be taken off his face is still there, beaming brightly and broadly yesterday as his new sneaker and clothing line were unveiled at the Manhattan Steve & Barry's store.

"It's been the best summer of my life," he said.

This was Marbury, warm and engaging and miles away from the frustrated, often petulant personality that runs the point for the embattled Knicks. In this form, he is a multimillionaire athlete with a genuine concern for the very people the Coney Island native came from: poor, which is why his sneaker will retail for $14.98 - not a typo - instead of more than $100 like most other player-endorsed kicks....

And Marbury... said this coming season he will wear the exact sneaker he helped design and will be sold in the stores. He hasn't approached any teammates yet to wear the sneaker and there was no sight of ultimate Knicks fan Spike Lee, who used to help Michael Jordan hawk his Nikes that set the precedent for overpriced sneakers Marbury is attempting to break.

"We're trying to change the world," he said.

I just hope they're better than Kobe's Thunderjammers...

State-Of-The-Art Star Wars CGI

I had almost forgotten about this...


The first Star Wars movie, rendered in the most sophisticated and awesome computer animation the world has ever known.

Vacation Photoblogging - Miniature Automobile Mishaps Edition

Well, I'm about halfway through processing the 1500 pictures from La Jolla, San Diego, and Laguna Beach, so I may not be posting much of substance for another day or two - I should have a lot of photoblogging, though.

This installment is from the San Diego Model Railroad Museum. If anything, the model train sets were even cooler than the model trains themselves. The miniature motorcars seemed to be getting into all kinds of trouble, as I have documented here.


Uh-oh, it's a miniature automobile mishap. Better call the tow truck.


Um, or not.


There ya go. Who needs tow trucks?


I think someone will very soon, actually...

Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

Oh, would that it were so...

CARAVAN, Calif. -- A gypsy curse has transformed conservative Supreme Court justices into liberals, leaving GOP leaders howling like werewolves.

"This is obviously a huge blow to the party, not to mention the United States of America," said North Carolina Republican Senator Kurt Krewcut, 56. "Those lifetime liberal justices could hand down decisions that'll have us living in the land of the 'freak' and the home of the 'bong.'"

The curse came about after the Supreme Court ruled against a band of gypsies. The Romanian expatriates were suing the city of Caravan, Calif., for discrimination and harassment.

"I could see several of those justices looking down their noses at us in court," said Syeira Purrum, 82. "After the verdict, I stood up and said, 'Many of you have no hearts. Well tomorrow they will bleed.' "

Purrum was taken into custody by police who mistook her comments as a death threat. Her words took on a different meaning, however, when staunch conservative justices awoke the next morning as "bleeding heart" liberals.

Following a brief panic and prayer sessions, Republicans have been seeking to win favor with the gypsies, making frequent visits to camps across the country and handing out 'We are the Gypsy's Own Party' buttons.

Quick to adapt, GOP strategists are looking beyond this crisis to seek out other groups associated with magic and spells, such as witches and wizards.

"Just think of it," said Krewcut. "Spells that turn African- Americans into whites, make gays become straight and transform liberal slime into hardworking, God-fearing Republicans.

"We'd make a deal with the Devil himself if that hadn't worked out so badly for us with Dick Nixon."

Kurt Krewcut. Heh.

Cranky Airportblogging

Well, I've been at my gate for about 20 minutes, and I already hate everyone around me.

Only an hour left to go!

It also appears that the San Diego Airport doesn't have any power outlets. Or free wifi. Fab.

Let's hope I can sleep on the plane, and that the guy with the loud froggy voice or the guy whining about his ungrateful "slumlord" coach aren't sitting anywhere near me...

Actual Vacation Photoblogging

Hokay, I just checked out of the Chateau, and I'm currently sitting on a bench outside waiting for my uncle to pick me up. There seems to be fairly decent non-Chateau wifi out here, so I can essay some more photoblogging.


It's... umm... a glowing plant of some sort.


It's... a street sign! Wow, this vacation just gets more and more exciting, don't it.


Okay, how about something moving?


Well, they were moving, but I think they're stopped. I like the rearview mirror reflection, and the reflection of the rearview mirror reflection.


I probably won't be posting much of anything until tomorrow morning at the earliest, although that might change if I can get me some airport wifi. The trip back is going to be Teh Suck: 11PM redeye with 4:30AM stopover in O'Hare. Whee.

Monday Media Blogging

Well, as long as I'm connected, I might as well post this week's video as well:


Kool Moe Dee goes all James Bond and fights ninjas and robots! All while singing The Greatest Rap Song Of All Time.

Awesome.

Vacation Aerial Photoblogging

Okay, I have ventured out on the patio near the Wifi Salon, and I have a nice steady Low signal instead of an intermittent Very Low one. Woohoo! So now I can post some photos, except I've only just managed to get through the ones I took from the aeroplane.

Um, between the outdoor light and the laptop display dimming from being on battery power, it's possible I may have mis-tweaked some of these, especially the last one. I may have to come back later and readjust.


Well, I got stuck behind the wing again. Figured I might as well make the best of it.


Clouds, as promised.


More clouds. And Mr. Planewing again.


Getting pretty close to sunset. We began our descent and had to turn off electrical devices (i.e., fancy cameras) just as it was getting good.