Strange Agenda

So, as Eschaton is besieged with right-wing trolls accusing us intolerant, homophobic liberals of being on a gay witch hunt, I and others were touched and surprised by this sudden outpouring of solicititude for the gay cause. NTodd even went so far as to suggest that this wave of right-wing pro-gay feeling might make this the perfect time to push for blanket legalization of gay marriage.

I think this is a fine idea. After all, if gays are worthy of preferential treatment with regard to White House/presidential access, then surely they are worthy of at least equal treatment with regard to the right to marry?

But then I wondered still further: What if these trolls are more attuned to the "gay agenda" than we are? What if the Number One priority of the American gay rights movement is, in fact, the right to ask softball questions of homophobic Republican presidents? Who are we to stand in the way of their hopes and dreams? With a prize like that in sight, surely marriage can wait?

Alas, it now appears that bright and shining dream has been dashed, destroyed by gay traitors like the dastardly John Aravosis of AMERICAblog. The trolls are waging a valiant battle to revive it, with their defibrillators of insincerity and their giant adrenaline needles of namestealing, but the time has come to place a gentle hand on their shoulder and pull them back from the tragic, bloody corpse. It was too much, too soon. America is simply not ready.

But hopefully, maybe, in some small way, this noble failure will pave the way for smaller advances in gay rights, such as the right to marry, the right to be accepted for who they are, and the right to not get the shit kicked out of them for no reason at all. I hope that someday our gay brethren will be able to forgive us for our callous and sordid role in this sorry affair, and we heterosexuals will once again be able to walk around with our heads held high.