Saturday, February 19, 2005

Strange Agenda

So, as Eschaton is besieged with right-wing trolls accusing us intolerant, homophobic liberals of being on a gay witch hunt, I and others were touched and surprised by this sudden outpouring of solicititude for the gay cause. NTodd even went so far as to suggest that this wave of right-wing pro-gay feeling might make this the perfect time to push for blanket legalization of gay marriage.

I think this is a fine idea. After all, if gays are worthy of preferential treatment with regard to White House/presidential access, then surely they are worthy of at least equal treatment with regard to the right to marry?

But then I wondered still further: What if these trolls are more attuned to the "gay agenda" than we are? What if the Number One priority of the American gay rights movement is, in fact, the right to ask softball questions of homophobic Republican presidents? Who are we to stand in the way of their hopes and dreams? With a prize like that in sight, surely marriage can wait?

Alas, it now appears that bright and shining dream has been dashed, destroyed by gay traitors like the dastardly John Aravosis of AMERICAblog. The trolls are waging a valiant battle to revive it, with their defibrillators of insincerity and their giant adrenaline needles of namestealing, but the time has come to place a gentle hand on their shoulder and pull them back from the tragic, bloody corpse. It was too much, too soon. America is simply not ready.

But hopefully, maybe, in some small way, this noble failure will pave the way for smaller advances in gay rights, such as the right to marry, the right to be accepted for who they are, and the right to not get the shit kicked out of them for no reason at all. I hope that someday our gay brethren will be able to forgive us for our callous and sordid role in this sorry affair, and we heterosexuals will once again be able to walk around with our heads held high.

31 comments:

watertiger said...

First.

I like the way that sounds.

Congratulations, Eli!

NYMary said...

Hi, Eli! Consider yourself bookmarked.

(Any more people I know get blogs, I'm gonna have to quit my job!)

Ripley said...

Nice work on the first post, Eli.

Eli said...

Thanks, guys. Of course, everything after this is probably going to be more like, "I saw a cool movie today. It had Will Smith in it. And robots."

ntodd said...

Finally I can see the comments!

Pissed I'm not first. Damn elusive, cunning predators always padding silently in the underbrush, waiting to pounce on unsuspecting victims and getting the first post. Grr.

Well, nice digs, Eli, and you've been added to the blogroll. I'm going to have to reorganize things now that there are so many Atriots blogging.

thehim said...

I wouldn't try too hard to rationalize their behavior. These loons would jump into a vat of pickle brine naked and swim around if they thought it was a way to show that "liberals" are crazy people who would jump into a vat of pickle brine naked and swim around.

There's a word for it, and the word is retardation.

jenny from the blog said...

7th!

Great job, Eli...

Jenny

Thersites said...

Hooray! I believe it was the seventh poster who wins the Supertramp tickets....?

NB: you might want to enable anonymous comments; it lets non-blogger people post.

Thersites said...

CURSE YOU, JENNY FTB!

Uh... can I go see Supertramp with you? You're not taking anyone else, right?

ntodd said...

Thers - watch what you say or they’ll be calling you a radical, liberal, fanatical, criminal.

Aquaria said...

Well, well, Eli, you finally took the plunge, and this is a great start.

Congratulations!

Eli said...

I thought I did have them enabled. Will fix.

The winner only gets one Supertramp ticket, right next to mine.

Aquaria said...

Oh, and I'll add you a wee bit later to my linkie list thingie. And NTodd too.

Eli said...

Additional more thanks!

I fear it may all be downhill from here, but if nothing else, hopefully I'll start photoblogging with the new camera in a week or two.

echidne said...

So where's the picture of you as a hunk, hmh? Nice blog, otherwise. :)

Jeffraham Prestonian said...

Whoo-hoo! New bloggy freshness from the Eli, word.
.

Eli said...

I somehow got the idea I might be hunkier *without* the pic...

Thanks, though!

Olaf glad and big said...

this is the best blog ever!

Eli said...

Thanks, Olaf! You may need to get out more...

Central Scrutinizer said...

Very cool Moonbat.

I'll be back!

Charlotte Smith said...

Mmm... fresh blog... smells like dryer sheets...

driftglass said...

Eli,
Cool! Lotsa leg room in here, and I love that new blog smell.

Congrats & "May your blog be festooned with the love stains of a thousand randy liberals."

Eli said...

Um, thanks... I think.

Anonymous said...

Um... go Eli and stuff... fight the good fight, go go go.

Okay, back to lurker mode....

oldwhitelady said...

Very good post. I have to go look at that AMERICAblog you have linked. As Central Scrutinizer said, "Very cool Moonbat. I'll be back", too:)

SJohn said...

Good start, Eli!

charley said...

cool, i have a new blog too. not sure how that happened. not sure how it works. not sure there is really a need for another blog.

nice post eli, personally i think america is ready for the dustbin of history, but if enuf people try to save it, maybe...

Mr. Hand said...

Great article. Well written. You've been linked!

Eli said...

Thanks all! I'm flattered, Stranger - have added you & OWL to my blogroll. A few more posts and you're there too, charley.

(Ooo, listen to me, Mister Big Shot, like it's such an honor...)

rorschach said...

I gotcha linked too, Eli, of course.

An amusing story on the gay rights front today.

On the one hand, we have Gannon strolling in and out of the White House daily... and then today we hear that Bush has uninvited Charles and Camilla because she's DIVORCED. (And yes, the reason is b/c she's divorced, not that he is.)

Eli said...

Wow. As I said on your blog, good thing there aren't any divorced Republicans, or this would be really hypocritical.

Wanker. I may need to update my last post now...